Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
by Cleo the Muse
Summary: DFR HAIR! Challenge - Sam's hair style becomes an important, crucial plot point. Gen, team!fic


**Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow**  
All Ages  
Gen, Challenge, Friendship, Humor, Team  
Episodes: Late season four, season five, or maybe season seven  
Warnings: Spontaneous spit-takes may occur. Use caution if you intend to take a drink while reading.  
Synopsis: DFR HAIR!!!!! Challenge - Sam's hair style becomes an important, crucial plot point.  
Status: Completed January 22, 2009

* * *

**Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow**

"I'm sorry, Sam, but I've done everything I can," Daniel apologized, hands spread wide in a concilatory gesture. "It's a matriarchal society, but they absolutely refuse to accept you as a woman with... um... 'hair as a man'."

"By that I'm sure the old bat meant your hairdo," Jack added, unhelpfully. "I'm sure it had nothing to do with your legs."

"It's _winter_, sir," Sam ground out testily, trying her best to remain professional in what was clearly a very trying situation. "On Earth, I'm wearing jeans when I'm not in BDUs, and slacks when not in jeans. Shaving my legs when it's only fifteen degrees out is _not _a high priority. Sir."

Daniel winced, thinking back to the moment when Matron Cavis practically ordered Sam to change out of her "masculine garb" and don something suitable for a woman of her declared station. The matron's staff were more than happy to supply Sam with an appropriate outfit, and one of the articles they chose was an attractive short skirt which really showed off the blond woman's long, pale legs.

Long, pale legs which _also _sported a healthy crop of short, dark hairs. Jack was inappropriately amused, Sam was understandably peeved, Daniel was cautiously diplomatic, and Teal'c was enigmatically intrigued. Matron Cavis was absolutely mortified.

"Seriously," Sam griped, bringing Daniel's attention back to the matter at hand, "you'd think a matriarchal society would have long-since embraced Women's Lib."

"What, like bra-burning and beauty pageant-bashing?" Jack quipped, earning himself a renewed glare.

"It's not a practice unheard of on Earth," Daniel began, launching into professor-mode.

The colonel grinned. "I remember the seventies... bras _were _burnt."

Teal'c frowned. "For what reason?"

"It was a feminist demonstration, and no bras were actually set on fire," the anthropologist corrected. "But that's not what I meant. Back home, business executives and high-level politicians are expected to dress and groom themselves in particular manner. It's a sign to other businessmen that they are level-headed, disciplined, and successful."

"Alpha males--'scuse me--Alpha _fe_males in power suits?"

"Something like that. The point is, Tanosen women dress themselves the way they do to show _other _women that they are strong, desirable, knowledgeable, and well-off," Daniel continued. "The men here do it too, though to a lesser degree. We've passed a few who were rather..."

"Flaming?" That remark earned Jack a glare from both Sam _and_ Daniel.

"I believe the word Daniel Jackson was seeking was 'metrosexual." All eyes turned to Teal'c. "Is that not the correct term?"

Daniel exhaled slowly. "No, that's... that's _exactly_ the right word, Teal'c. Thank you."

"You are welcome."

The linguist shook his head. "The point is, while Tanos may be matriarchal, gender roles do still exist, and are understandably quite similar. Men are still the hunters, gatherers, and warriors they are typically defined as in other societies, but women are the leaders and scholars."

"I still don't see what this has to do with me having short hair," Sam complained, ineffectually glaring at the beauticians who hovered about her.

"Among the Tanosens, having long hair is a sign a woman is healthy and leads a peaceful enough life that she or her servants can take the time to maintain it. It's rather similar to the way a number of cultures on Earth still consider obesity to be a sign of wealth: to them, getting fat shows that you don't have to work."

"Because you're drawing a disability check instead," Jack added cheekily. "What? I've seen _Springer_."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Fortunately, these people value athletic figures as a sign of strength. The length and style of a woman's hair indicates her social status. Some of the men have long hair, too, and it probably denotes the same."

The man standing directly behind Sam spoke up just then, and there was a quick exchange of words in the native tongue. "He says he's all finished with you, Sam," Daniel translated.

"Thank God!" the major cried out, bounding from her seat. Shaking her head, she ran her fingers through her hair and exclaimed, "This feels so weird!"

"So should we be calling you 'Doctor Carter' today?" Jack teased, earning himself yet another glare.

Another flurry of words was exchanged with the beautician, and Daniel suddenly found himself being manhandled into the barber's chair by the attendants.

"Something you forgot to mention?" Jack snarked.

"Daniel Jackson identified himself as a scholar to Matron Cavis," Teal'c explained on behalf of the stammering linguist. "As a result, he must also undergo 'improvement'."

Sam grabbed a hank of her waist-length weave and waved it at Daniel. "Only ninety minutes left to go," she smiled sweetly, referring to the length of her own hair-extension-application ordeal.

The embarrassed acceptance on Daniel's face transformed to horror when the attendants began to lay out cloth strips and sugar wax.

* * *

Author's Notes:  
...And Jack proceeded to make jokes about Daniel's "smooth 'n' sexy legs" for weeks thereafter. *evil grin*


End file.
